Stay Classy, Hardee's

First, there was this. And then there was this.

And now, there's this:

Okay, I know I've seen way too much 90210 and other such soap-ish TV dramas, but:

I'm so sick of seeing the same stories play out in the same ways over and over without ever switching up the genders in any way.

I am simply DYING to see:

-A male character who smolders with jealousy of one of his male friends and begins to dress like him, gets his hair cut like him, and eventually tries to kill him.

-A male character who is seduced by one of his female college professors and actually feels threatened and victimized by it.

-A female character who gets trapped in an elevator with a pregnant woman, freaks out, helps deliver the baby, and is commended for her heroic act.

Think it'll ever happen?

Puzzle Games and My Lady Brain

I felt insulted once when I was out on a first (and last) date with a guy who scoffed at my love for video games and told me that he bet I only really liked Tetris, since all girls like puzzle games. Even though I do love games like Tetris (and Dr. Mario and Snood and Puzzle League, and Puzzle Quest), the idea of this stereotype really got under my skin, and when I saw this video on YouTube sometime last year, it only fueled my anger:



Pretty vile, huh? My guess is that he's probably just been beaten at Tetris by too many girls (his Mom included) and needed to patch up his pride. But it still makes me sad, since the same guy also made these kickass Megaman vids with lyrics that Dan and I sing all the time.

According to Susie Bright, My Vag is a Cul de Sac

I'm already a regular reader of Susie Bright's blog (the home of gems like this), but I've been meaning to write about how much I love the new feature on Jezebel where Susie and her daughter respond to readers' questions about sex.

[Susie:] Take, for example, their response to a reader who's feeling nervous about using found objects (like her hairbrush) as sex toys:

Now back to the nitty-gritty of your question: The only criteria to judge an impromptu sex toy, is to make sure it's perfectly smooth, with no sharp edges or seams. Vaginally, it can be any shape you like, since your vag is a cul-de-sac. But if you ever want to use something for anal penetration, you need to make sure it has a flange (flared base). In that case, you hairbrush is fine for that, too.

If you want to use your "found dildo" more than once, just make sure it's washable, non-porous. If it would survive a spin in the dishwasher, it's a good candidate. Your hairbrush is probably hard plastic, which is ideal.

Where's all your apprehension coming from, after your fun? Honestly, how many times do people stomp into your bedroom and demand to use your hairbrush?

Aretha: Like never. Listen, Kate: If you don't want people to use your brush, JUST SAY NO. No one going to press you about it.

Susie: I can't imagine anyone putting you on the spot: "I bet you‘ve been masturbating with your comb and that's why you won't lend it to me!"

Next time one of my friends won't lend me something, I'm totally going to accuse them of masturbating with it.

That Would Be End Game, My Friend

Katie and I saw this commercial during last Friday's Degrassi marathon on The N, and we were so impressed with it:



SO great, right? Totally made of win.

At the time we saw it, there was no high-quality version available on YouTube, so Katie made her own.

Linkfest!

Dolly Speaks: Sad Things I Hear at Work

Hoyden About Town: Whitewashed!

The Curvature: Organization Pays Addicted Women to Undergo Permanenent Sterilization

Bitch Flicks: Business Trip Wishes

Feminist Law Professors: Adrienne Suarez’s Code of Ethics for Female Attorneys

AdFreak: Gold's Gym can't look at your nasty cankles

Double Standards and Why Hot Chicks Date Douchebags

Have you heard of the new MTV series Is She Really Going Out With Him? It's the "hilarious and compelling docu-format show that aims to tear down the mystery behind pop culture's latest unexplainable phenomenon: beautiful and innocent young sweethearts who fall for self-absorbed, overly-tanned, tattoo covered douchebags."

Seems like the perfect time for this "Profound insight of the day" from The Apostate:

When a man falls for a bitchy but good looking woman, they don’t say men like bitchy women. They say men like cute women.

When a woman falls for a good looking asshole, they don’t say women like attractive guys. They say women like assholes.

Double standard much?

(Yes, I’ve been known to find good looking assholes attractive. No, I’ve never liked an ugly asshole.)

Women, being the sexual creatures we are, are susceptible, just like men, to sex appeal, and sometimes liable to focus on that to the exclusion of all other characteristics. When we like “bad boys” they’re not just any bad boys – they’re sexy motherfuckers.

But men are threatened by women’s sexual agency and women applying to them the same shallow standard by which they often judge us, so they pretend women don’t care about looks. They also want to paint women as irrational, which is the only way to explain why women fall for jerks. Never mind that the jerks are sometimes sexy. We’ll just pretend women don’t know what is in their own best interests.

Perfectly said. This double standard, perfectly illustrated by this new show, just feeds into the ridiculous notion that women are clueless about who to date and that Nice Guys can't win.

Vintage Ad of the Day

(Via Big Fat Deal)

When "Sexism" is a Dirty Word

I've called out the big film blog SlashFilm before for their sexist and male-centered reporting before, but I've been surprised how, lately, they've been taking baby steps in the direction of calling attention to issues of race, gender, and sexuality in movies. Even though they tend to not take a strong stance on calling out oppression, I think it's great that they aren't totally ignoring issues that affect people other than straight, white men.

Their commenters, however, are a different story. When SlashFilm posted today about how top earning actresses make way less money than top earning actors, their readers came out in droves to dismiss the possibility of sexism in some interesting (and sometimes comical) ways. Some examples:

The "men are just better" argument:

Its not that Hollywood is sexist, there are probably only a few people in the world that would rather watch this list of actresses do their job opposed to the highest paying actors list, and this, of course, is with the exception of Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet (Meryl Streep is a great actress, but the movies she picks aren't the type that ask for big paydays). None of these women were in any blockbuster movies, or movies with huge budgets last year (unlike the men on the highest paid actors list), with the exception of Jolie, who is, coincidentally, the highest paid actress. When these women start doing the same jobs as the highest paid men then you can throw a fit that Hollywood is 'sexist.' Johny Depp rightfully deserves to be paid more than any woman on this list. Although I do not think that Mike Meyer's should be on the highest paid actors list I would rather watch him DO ANYTHING than sit through a Sarah Jessica Parker, Cameron Diaz, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon, Drew Barrymore, Renee Zellweger, or Halle Berry Movie (they all have their one or two could movies, but look at what they are making now!), and be honest, would you?

The "Women Choose to be Nothing More than Sex Objects" argument:

I feel like there are far less quality actresses than actors in Hollywood. When Julia Roberts was making decent films, she was topping both sexes with few exceptions. It is such a majority of films that have males for the lead roles and more male dependent in films that they will get paid more for a long time. It is easier to find a decent actress than a great male lead.

Here is a question, what actors and actresses would be on a top 100 list? How many males vs. females would be on the list? Not many females bring much to a film outside of sex appeal... and that is the choice of the actress. Transformers 2 films Fox bent over too many times, and how many lines does she have in the film? Female leads are rare, giving Jolie a couple but none of which are great films by any standard. If Jolie wanted double pay to match some of the male actors, she wouldn't be cast.

And the "Stop being so P.C.!" argument:

I think Slashfilm is on a political tyraid just for the hell of it.

And that's just from the first 15 or so. I'm sure plenty more will be rolling in.

I applaud SlashFilm for taking on this issue at all when they have such neanderthal readers, but if you prefer to get your film news in a friendlier space, I suggest Women & Hollywood and Bitch Flicks.

"Unleash your wild side."

AdFreak reports that this U.K. liqueur ad has been banned due to complaints that it "linked drinking to seduction and sexual success":

The caption reads: "Unleash your wild side. Everyone has a wild side. Unleash yours with Wild Africa Cream."

What's interesting to me, though, is that no one's talking about how often black women are depicted as wild animals in advertising.

Linkfest!

Boston Brahmina: Sex: It's all about ejaculate

abyss2hope: Carnival Against Sexual Violence 73

What Tami Said: Big, black booties "intrigue" Jezebel readership

Womanist Musings: In Praise of Vibrators

Feministe: Why I Hate Filling Out Forms

Carmen Van Kerckhove: Michael Jackson on race -- and who he saw in the mirror

The Rotund: News Flash! Middle-class White Dudes Not Sole Arbiters of Attractiveness!

I Can't Believe it's Not PETA

This is fucking horrifying. HUGE trigger warning:



David Kiefaber from AdFreak writes:

Dutch non-profit Animals Awake takes a page from PETA's playbook in this disturbing spot by getting festish model/Playboy Playmate/sexy vegetarian Ancilla Tilia to strip naked. But then the ad gets, well, Dutch, and the poor girl is gutted like a trout by some dowdy fisherman. The point is to discourage stripping fish while they're still alive. Similar consideration, we're sure, should be given to Ms. Tilia. But as PETA so often does, Animals Awake muddles the message here in the delivery. Gutting a fish, even while it's alive, and killing a human being in a room full of people just aren't the same thing. Animals Awake has a worthy message to relay, but it could do so without all the gimmickry.

The only thing I have to add to this is to make the point that in a world where women are constantly and systematically objectified and victimized, ads like this are completely and utterly inexcusable.

Linkfest!

Jezebel: Meet Ponyo, Hayao Miyazaki's Latest Girl-Friendly Film

Kiss My Black Ads: Because you're not worth it: L'Oreal found guilty of racism

Grace the Spot: The Grass is Always Greener... (or bush, more accurately) --Thanks, Erin!

Feministing: Venice Gets its First Female Gondolier

Bitch Flicks: Misogyny Still Reigns at the Box Office

Title IX Blog: Title XI Doesn't Cover Discrimination Against Female Football Player, Court Rules

Womenstake: Just Released: Gains and Losses for Women in 2008-09 Supreme Court Decicions

Echidne of the Snakes: There Were Cavewomen????

Muslimah Media Watch: Sarkozy to the Rescue! France, Burquas, and the Question of Choice

Away We Go

This film was completely lovely from start to finish. The women totally stole the show, too. Maya Rudolph, Catherine O'Hara, Allison Janney, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Carmen Ejogo, and Melanie Lynskey were fantastic.

I don't want to spoil anything, but there's this scene -- with Verona and Burt (Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski) lying on a trampoline under the stars making promises to each other about how they will raise their soon-to-be-born daughter -- that made tears just roll down my cheeks.



SEE THIS MOVIE. And check out Melissa Silverstein's interview with Maya Rudolph about the film at Women & Hollywood.

Amelia

No idea if it will be really good or just another cheesy biopic, but Mira Nair and Hillary Swank could make a great team:



My guess is that Swank's version of Amelia will be a little less kitcshy and lingo-y than Amy Adams' portrayal in Night at the Museum 2:

As Seen on TV:

A few days ago, AdFreak posted this commercial for Kush, the "breast-support sleeping aid" that "makes everyone feel good":



Maybe the real reason these women are experiencing discomfort is that they're trying to sleep in tight, low-cut, lacy corsets.

Seriously, though. I would like to know from readers - is this a legitimate problem that needs correction? Being somewhere between a C and D cup, I have never for a moment felt that I needed extra support between the girls while I sleep, but I wouldn't want to negate anyone else's experience. Frankly, it just seems like a total sham to charge $55 for a rubbery plastic cylinder to stick in there. Thoughts?

My Earliest Michael Jackson Memory:

Captain Eo, the 1986 3D film at Disney World, which I saw on my visit there when I was five:

Pop: A Fabulous Child's Story

(Updated to add link to the Lois Gould story. Thanks, Malta!)

Each quarter, my students read Lois Gould's 1972 short story, "X: A Fabulous Child's Story", in which fictional parents raise their fictional child without naming its gender so that it can grow up without internalizing gender stereotypes.

That story was written in 1972, but it seems that a pair of real parents in present-day Sweden have decided to try the exact same experiment with their child, who is, for the purposes of the article, called "Pop":

Pop’s parents, both 24, made a decision when their baby was born to keep Pop’s sex a secret. Aside from a select few – those who have changed the child’s diaper – nobody knows Pop’s gender; if anyone enquires, Pop’s parents simply say they don’t disclose this information.

In an interview with newspaper Svenska Dagbladet in March, the parents were quoted saying their decision was rooted in the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction.

“We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” Pop’s mother said. “It’s cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.”

The child’s parents said so long as they keep Pop’s gender a secret, he or she will be able to avoid preconceived notions of how people should be treated if male or female.

Pop’s wardrobe includes everything from dresses to trousers and Pop’s hairstyle changes on a regular basis. And Pop usually decides how Pop is going to dress on a given morning.

Although Pop knows that there are physical differences between a boy and a girl, Pop’s parents never use personal pronouns when referring to the child – they just say Pop.

“I believe that the self-confidence and personality that Pop has shaped will remain for a lifetime,” said Pop’s mother.

LOVE this. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for these parents to constantly explain to people that they choose not to disclose Pop's sex, but it makes me smile to think that this child has made it to age 2 and a half without ever having to hear from family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers about how little boys or little girls are supposed to be and think and feel and behave and have to try to figure out which mold to conform to. It won't be so easy once Pop is exposed to lots of other kids and media influences, but until that point, I totally don't see any reason why kids have to be so identified by sex.

The rest of the article gets annoying by introducing a psychologist concern troll who feels it necessary to explain that there are "natural" differences between boys and girls, as if it could ever be possible to separate out social influences and know about such differences with any certainty:

Pinker says there are many ways that males and females differ from birth; even if gender is kept ‘secret,’ prenatal hormones developed in the second trimester of pregnancy already alter the way the child behaves and feels.

She says once children can speak, males tell aggressive stories 87 per cent of the time, while females only 17 per cent. In a study, children aged two to four were given a task to work together for a reward, and boys used physical tactics 50 times more than girls, she says.

First of all, 87 per cent is not 100 per cent, and 17 per cent is not 0 per cent, which tells us that there is more than one way to act like a boy or a girl. If you separate out genders in a study in order to look for differences, your biased ass will probably find them. Secondly, nothing about these studies proves that any of these differences are natural and not related to gender socialization. I can't imagine what citing these studies could possibly have to do with parents' decision not to associate everything in their child's life with pink/blue, doll/truck, and vagina/penis.

When Love Means Doing His Laundry:

I can't get enough of Vintage Ads lately. They're just too entertaining.


Caption reads: "He wears the cleanest shirts in town ...his 'Missus' swears by TIDE!"

Linkfest!

I was at a week-long training session for a volunteer gig all last week (more on that later) and dropped the ball on the link love. Time to remedy that, though.


Muslimah Media Watch: There Will Be Blood: Neda Agha Soltan's Post-Mortem Image in the Media

Racialicious: Timing is Everything: Nicholas Sarkozy Defends Women's Rights By Restricting Them (A lot of folks have been writing about this issue lately, but Wendy comes the closest to explaining how I feel about it in this post.)

flip flipping joy: fluency and coalition

My Ecdysis: It's A Boy, It's a Girl

Trans Group Blog: Trans men may be butch but they're not (usually) butches

The Rotund: I Could Go Out Tonight: The Morrissey Dilemma

Feministing: Advice for a Baby Feminist

Bitch Blogs: Pride Worldwide



And in TV News:

Sociological Images: Canada's Next Top Model "Breaking the Mold" or Same Old Same Old?

The F-Word.com: Jessica Simpson to host "The Price of Beauty"

Women & Hollywood: Finally - A Woman of Color Joins the Summer Lineup

A Blog of Our Own: Some feminist thought from Roseanne